Amnesia

There are a million people around us and a million things you can do things with. But when out of that million, what if you wanted just one who you wanted to do nothing with, and you just can't find that one and only? There are so much that has changed,  and I don't feel the same. Everything seems like a joke and for what it's worth, you can't do a thing about it. Your whole body feels like you are not in control at all. You feel like you are being touched by another source of energy that you wished you had control on. You wanna be, but you just can't no matter what you do. 

There was a moment of freedom, and peace. That serenity is absolutely addictive. It was like a drug to me. That unexplainable high you get, that only quiet moment when all you hear was yourself. I wanted that back, I wanted it so bad but  I knew, it was not mine to have. Yes I am really not fine at all, and there isn't a thing I can do about it.  I'm tired.. I really am tired..

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted

And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?

If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone

I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone

And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

If today I woke up with you right beside me

Like all of this was just some twisted dream

I'd hold you closer than I ever did before

And you'd never slip away

And you'd never hear me say

The dreams you left behind you didn't need them

Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

No, I'm really not fine at all

Tell me this is just a dream

'Cause I'm really not fine at all