~~Time To Stand Up~~

Today is just another day,
I felt that sometimes, when you really like someone, you tend to loose control of yourself.
I did lost control of myself last night... but.. Phew... nothing happened..
I'm glad that we both know that we are just two lonely people who get together.
What I'm really looking for in my heart is something really passionate..
I dunno sometimes izxit all true or izxit just an infatuation.
Hmm... but i really enjoy your company. But my dear... Like i told you before,
When you need a friend, I'll be there, when you need someone to love you, here I am.
Sometimes, i know loving someone is hard.. but I really don understand what is the difference between a normal relationship and one with full of scandals..
Anyway, all i can say here is every individual is different.

I wont be a BITCH and I know what I want..
one day... someone out there.. there will be someone right for me...
But ... even i know it is not easy now to let everything go in a day..
I know when the day comes.. I will be fine..
Croatia.. Here I come~~~~ Wish myself a good trip..
I will miss everyone of you.. Take good care of yourself..
And dear, if you happen to read this, I want you to know, I say all this is nothing have to do with you.. Like i mention above,

"Every individual is different"

I really thank you for the feeling you have brought to me..
I really hope one day, If God permits us.. I still hope to be together with you.
I wish you well and your lover..
Hugss~~~

I'm such a fool~~~

I really don't know what should I say.
Friends? Whatever? Or?
Feeling so empty...
Does most people here in Malaysia really have the point of view of being something in mind?
Does everyone has a purpose?
Does everyone has a motive?

Am I just being stupid to treat everyone with my heart..
and in the end.. What have I got?
Misunderstood

SY.. I hope you are well.. really...
Now I really regret not moving to Korea.
But life has to go on..
I guess I just have to change myself into something I'm not.

I'm so numb~~~
Really don't know what to say except

I"M A FOOL~~~~~~

Should I or Should I Not?

There is a move that I should decide.

Should I or Should I not?

There is a special person that I have met.

Should I or Should I not?

This special person has another special person.

Should I or Should I not?

That special person to my special person is not me.

Should I or Should I not?

My brain ask me to stop, But my heart ask me to go for it.

Should I or Should I not?

We have so much in common. But is this call love?

Should I or Should I not?

Will I let go of everything and trust fully like I did in the past.

Should I or Should I not?

Will I ever get hurt by you?

Should I or Should I not Love You ?

What do I want from myself?

What do I really want?
Is it you?
Or is it not you?
I wonder how people relate themselves when they say they are happy with you?
I wonder how people will manipulate others feelings?
I wonder being a player or being a lover is better?
Am I really sick and tired of being played?
Did I really move on from the previous person to you?
What am I to you?

I am just a no body~~~
I can't be a player as I am a born lover~~~

God~~~ I need you to guide me through this... ...
Take the wheel from me as I am letting go now~~~

Why You~~~

Why must you hurt me so?
You tear me all apart.
Why did you have to go?
You wound and break my heart.

Why did you us me like this?
You played me like a violin.
Why is it you I miss?
You've hurt me again and again.

Why must I need you?
You gave me nothing but tears.
Why, after all you put me through?
You're face fills all my fears.

I'll always be there~

This is a crazy world

These can be lonely days

It's hard to know who's on your side

Most of the time

Who can you really trust

Who do you really know

Is there anybody out there

Who can make you feel less alone

Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you have broken dreams

Just lay them all on me

I'll be the one who understands

So take my hand If there is emptiness

You know I'll do my best To fill you up with all the love

That I can show someone

I promise you you'll never walk alone

Everybody needs somebody who they can pour their heart and soul into

Well if you need a place where you can run I

f you need a shoulder to cry on

I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain

When you need a healer for your pain

I will be there time and time again

When you need someone to love you

Here I am, Here I am

Does anyone on earth know what is the definition of L O V E ?~~~

Nov 17,

I guess no one would really understand,
people say they love, yet do they?

What is love?

Is it the desire to owned someone?
Is it the selfishness in a persons wants?
Is this what most people thinks love is?

All questions... is there an answer?

Love is just a feeling, to share, to give, to behold.
Its just a simple philosophy which is always being misinterpret.
How can everyone be blinded?
Is it that hard to tell if you love someone?
Is it that hard to admit you love someone?
Is it that hard to be with that someone?
Is it that hard to be true to that someone?

Yet...

All questions... no answers...

It is not as complicated as it is..

But why....


Why~~~~~

EXISTANCE

Perfection is defined when your heart beats next to mine,

and time stands still for us.

My hand in your hair, and yours on my chest.

Moments with you are my lifes best.

We crossed paths for a reason

The planets aligned in that particular season

Its clear to me that well eventually be

Inseparable

I love your existenceand I cant get enough

Your song is sung in your beautiful voice

My senses rush cause they have no other choice

I breathe you in, and I see through your eyes.

You are an angel in a beautiful disguise.

So pucker up and embrace the greatness,

you get me high and erase my sadness.

I love your existence, and I cant get enough

You are my most painful memory

My heart drops suddenly
And breaks into a million sharp pieces
Pieces that are now digging at my insides,
Causing tears to come to my eyes
My mind spins out of control
I can't breath
I can't think
These words I am hearing
They cannot be true
There has never been such an unforgivable lie
My entire being wants to hear you voice
To know that it isn't so

The tears began to pour
Warm and sticky down my red cheeks
There is a stabbing feeling in my throat
The wind is knocked out of my near lifeless body
I let out a moan
In hopes that the pain I am feeling inside will leave with the heart wrenching sound
I do this in vain

Even days later
I lie in bed
Unable to move
Unable to think about anything
Anything but you
What you were
What we had
Everything that I miss and that I will never again have
Every fucking part of me wishes to see your smile again
To hear your voice
To feel your touch

The pain never decreases
Even after days
Weeks
Months
Years
I still remember
Your smile
Your voice
Your touch
You are my most painful memory

Moving on here~~~

Moving on to a new place.
I have been looking for a suitable place to blog.
Hopefully this will be my last resort..
Kinda tired with everything around me..
Am i just dumb or too smart to notice what is right or wrong~~~

But i know...

Things will get better soon