Little Things I Missed

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

- Taylor Swift

Missing  – Part 002 : November 3rd 2014


Sometimes there are so many little things that I am missing right now. That scent, that touch, the weight that hold me together, and that smile that brightens my day every morning when I see you waking up. The cuddles we had, that stripped down small talks. No judgements, no bias. Just us, and the world seems to be complete. After so many things that happened in between, nothing seems to matters. We had each other. Or should I say I had you. 

For one reason or another, it just felt right. Stroking through your hair while you fall asleep on me, I wished that moment would just pause and stay. For that few minutes, the world seems to be a very wonderful place to be in. Something that I missed, don't ever think I had this moment since baby J. 

For these few days, my guard was totally down. Your excitement and happiness glows. Not just being there, but it just so contagious that you could feel it. I wanted to share that, I just wanted to hold you and never let you go. For once in a very long time, I feel that I am just a normal guy falling in love all over again. There is so much I was holding it back, but now, I wonder if I could? The question of "if I only could" still arise from time to time. But if I am honest to myself, all I wanted is just to fall in love over and over again, everyday in the morning when I see you. 

I'm not angry any more. I am not angry at life, I'm not angry at my cancer, I not angry that I was in bad shape. Because I know without all these, I wouldn't have you to begin with. I only wanted to be grateful. I am thankful. I just wanted to be near you. I miss everything we had. I miss you. 

I am falling in love all over again.